A human becoming

Momentous update incoming; so large that I'm splitting it into two! I've been so swamped with work from my summer courses that I have no remorse for the lack of updates. I passed in my independent study paper at long last. I cannot surmise the quality was to my usual standards, but ultimately I was awarded an A for the class. I am conflicted with this grade on the grounds of knowing I did not exert myself as much as I could have. I received an A- in Research Methods and unfortunately, a C+ in Abnormal Behavior. The C+ caused my Grade Point Average to drop, but not significantly.

Sarah and I continue texting each other. At a few points I speculated she would stop associating with me, yet she continues to do so. One day she was trying to determine how to move her 500 (yes, 500) cellphone pictures onto her computer. Unable to locate the cable included with her cellphone, I advised buying an adapter to read a memory stick she could save her pictures on. I went as far as calling her to talk over her options. She texted me some hours later notifying I was correct. When I expressed my gratification to help, she enlightened me her service provider Verizon had, who she had called because of my poor communication. Sarah time after time has trouble deciphering my lingo for unidentified reasons; the only explanation I have contrived is my habit of mumbling and pressured speech.

As I had yearned for, my nose ceased bleeding in time for my first class on Tuesday. Be that as it may, I still resonated the voice of a person with a cold and my nose prolonged oozing mucus. Gratefully the stints in my nose, which the outward appearance was unknown to me, were extracted two days later to which in great measure reduced both symptoms. I was completely taken aback when my ENT pulled out a 4 inches long by 1 inch wide piece of plastic from each nostril. My nose has extensively stopped bleeding, but I continue to have blood in the mucus I retrieve from the back of my throat. During my appointment with her Monday I will ensure to mention this.

The first week of the summer semester I struggled to be on time for my 8 am class, Counseling. Not only was I leaving late, but on top of that I was being delayed by summer construction. I succumbed and set my alarm a half an hour earlier; I have not waken up at 5:30 am since Freshman year in High School. Gratefully, Counseling is extraordinarily engrossing. There have been two instances in my life that I have gotten wind of a viewpoint considerably much the same as my own. The first occasion took place when I was advocated to give heed to a podcast called Common Sense with Dan Carlin. The show is directed toward news and government from the perspective of the radical, non-partisan host called Dan Carlin. Dan describes his show as being a part of the new media, described as “the emergence of digital, computerized, or networked information and communication technologies in the later part of the 20th century” by Wikipedia. I loathe the mainstream media for the reason that I identify it as entertainment more then news. Journalism today is not as it once was; you don't see journalist getting the inside “scoops”. The media relinquishes former practices in order to maintain connections for future material. At the end of the day, it all comes back to ratings, sales or clicks. Integrity is a thing of the past; now more then ever the news caters to what the audience wants. Many subjects that should be top stories are minor news. Most American citizens want to hear about the latest murders and celebrity going ons more then being told their practices are harmful or will fall on the shoulders of future generations. I am enraged at how proportionally high murders are portrayed on television compared to other crimes and the obvious partisanship displayed. Humans naturally have a “them versus us” attitude and this is reflected in politics; society pressures citizens to identify with a political party, even if citizens don't particularly agree strongly with the party. The podcast is only every other week for 30 – 45 minutes, but the insight is more enlightening then what you would hear from then an entire group of pundits.

Counseling is the second time I've encountered this phenomena. I may confuse what my professor believes in and what Carl Rogers did, but none-the-less the sentiments are of importance. Love is often given conditionally; unconditional love is rare, which can be seen from the most au courant 52% divorce rate. There is no such thing as altruism; people help others to fulfill their own needs. Feeling satisfaction from helping others is providing that pleasant experience. There is not one reality; each person's perspective is a reality. At one point in my life I debated if there was only one reality; two realities, an inner and outer; or a separate reality for each person. While there is no definite answer, I find the last conclusion the most satisfactory. Painful experiences can not be undone, only understood and learned how to be dealt with. Human growth doesn't stop; while our physical growth ends, our mental capacities are always expanding. I am doubtlessly forgetting a heap of conceptions that parallel my way of thinking and of course, there is much more then what I have annotated, but this provides a prelude to the subject matter presented.

Roughly three weeks ago, an acquaintance from High School posted on my Facebook wall asking me why I don't play Warhammer 40,000 with him and his friends. It was completely unpremeditated; having dealt with this person only on a few select occasions, I did not know what to make up of it. When I clued in my friend Melvin, he was hurt he had not been invited seeing he knew those who were playing to a much greater degree then me, but he still encouraged me to attend. Observing his feeling of being left out and ken on him catching cabin fever from being inside his home for the greater part of his time nowadays, I expressed I would request him tagging along, for which he was grateful for. I responded that I was interested along with the supposition, then went along with my usual business. Hours later I returned to Facebook to read the person who invited me, James, had responded affirming Melvin's attendance would be a non-issue and that he needed me to select a race to play as, directing me to Wikipedia. He also sent me a message on AIM while I was away. Electing to get back to him tomorrow, I hooped into bed only to hear my cellphone vibrating. The number was not one I recognized, but I answered it despite this. To my astonishment, James had used my cellphone number posted on Facebook to call me. Our conversation was to the point as I remarked I was lying in my bed when he called. We were to meet at noon Wednesday at a small shop located in downtown Dover.

On Wednesday, having not heard from James, I called him to get directions to the shop due to forgetting the name and being unfamiliar with Dover; he did not pick up his phone. Twenty minutes later he phoned me back, apologizing for being asleep when I rang. He gave me the name of the shop, Elite Hobbies, and it's general location, near the Strand Movie Theater. I printed directions off Google Maps, picked up Melvin and headed on our way. Our travel began smoothly, effectively highway, but once we exited, to no amazement, I achieved losing our way. To use Melvin as a scapegoat, he handled the directions and was in charge of watching for street signs, a task not fitting for someone who can scarcely see from his left eye. After driving in circles for a period of time, we found our way to the Strand Theater. Melvin buzzed James, who had not left Rochester yet. To kill time, Melvin and I ordered pizza at a restaurant across the street. Looking for a parking space at the Strand, I misjudged the depth of a puddle at a spot; stepping out of the car I found it to be several inches deep. Returning to my car, drenching my sneakers further, I recognized I had left my cellphone there. Opening it, I had missed several calls from James, for which he left a handful of messages. I returned his call, confessing I had forgotten my phone my car and that we had grabbed a bite. He and his friend were waiting at the shop which was nearby. Admitting the ease I get lost, I handed the phone to Melvin who directed me. Of course, we still took wrong turns. Frustrated, James ordered us to wait at the Strand, as he would walk over the meet us. I suggested to Melvin we walk over ourselves but he refused out of pure laziness. He appeared 10 minutes later, commanded me to hand over my keys and drove us to the shop, which was 30 seconds away; Melvin and I argued who was to blame until we walked inside. Elite Hobbies is a small shop that caters to a niche demographic along with carrying products involving home repair.

If you are unacquainted with Warhammer 40,000, as I was, it is a franchise that started as a tabletop miniature wargame that has expanded into other mediums. A Tabletop miniature war game is a military focused, turn-based strategy game that incorporates tiny figurines and model terrain. The main appeal for the greater part is customizing the miniature figurines. The other dude there, Tom, who I had English sophomore year with, painted his army as storm troopers from the Stars Wars films. The game itself is astonishingly elaborate: measuring tape is used to calculate distance of movement and fire; plastic utensils that called to mine the type I operated in Geometry class; a large assortment of different types of dice, ranging in size, color and use; and multiple booklets for instructions and stats used for calculations. In spite of having commenced setting up, an additional half an hour or longer was necessary antecedent to playing. I can say without shame that I label myself as a geek. With that said, I still view this as geekness at another level. A commonplace joke is those of us into more non-mainstream hobbies speak a incomprehensible language; this was that precise experience.

We were split into two teams: James and Melvin on one and Tom and myself on the other. Tom and I played as space marines, James used some sort of space elves and lastly, poor Melvin played as the Orks. I show sympathy told Melvin for the army he was dealt with was atrocious; he had the largest army, but their strength was puny so consequentially, Tom was annihilating them. James gave Tom and I a handicapped for the sake of Tom being relatively unfamiliar to the game. Granting it is a strategy game, victory relies more on luck; a role of the dice ultimately clinches a favorable outcome. You role for turns, if units can enter the battlefield, ability to do damage, amount of damage, area of damage, resistance to damage and undeniably more I am not aware of. I indulge in entertainment that luck plays a smaller role in, thus Warhammer was not to my great liking, in particular to my indifference toward customization. What I found more intriguing was how James and Tom treated Melvin; in high school, Melvin stood out like a sore thumb and was often ridiculed and bullied for it. However, by senior year he had joined a semi-clique in Computer Technology class, which I took the first part of two years prior. I was not a part of this clique, but it's presence was evident. I had three friends in the clique, not including Melvin, who I was not friends with at that time, as were James and Tom. I had observed that within this clique Melvin was still moderately mocked, it was in a more friendly fashion. The put downs in Elite Hobbies was less so. Guys like to rag on each other, but as I pointed out to Melvin on our drive home, there is only a certain extent until the person is covering up what they really think as a joke. He was slammed time and time again; unlike myself, he was able to shrug it off. I am far too sensitive to take such abuse without becoming enraged, as Melvin did when I first met him. I am conscience-stricken; I also partook in this to a much smaller extent. The worst was when I recollected the story of Melvin's mom leaving a chore list for him, one task being to untangle the phone cord, which I found to much humor as did others who I repeated it too. Besides that, I almost fell when I went to lean against a wall that was further back then I discerned and two brothers, between the ages of 8 and 10 watched us play for a length of time. I was astounded to find they were well conversant of the game. As a kid that age, I procured no patience for that type of activity.