Times are tough

I had planned on posting a new entry yesterday, but since my laptop AC adapter decided stop working, I’m using a laptop I borrowed from the Diamond Library to type this. This is the second AC adapter I’ve had break on me and moreover it seems both had the same problem. At least with Dell AC adapters there is a black box in the middle of the wire. The problem lies at the end of the black box for the wire that goes to the laptop. On my first adapter, the insulation wore down leaving the wire exposed. It got rather hot so I ordered a new one even though it was still functioning for safety concerns. I tried duck tape and electrical tape to keep the insulation on, but it would never hold. With the second one, based on wiggling the same spot and having the power turn off and on, insinuates that the wire has gotten lose and now has stopped work completely. I conjecture I threw away my first one without contemplating that I might need to use it as a back up in the future as I’m not able to locate it. I already ordered a new one and hope to get it as soon as possible.

I was in a rather agitated state earlier. As I remarked before, I have not been going to the Diamond Library because the girl I’m eluding works there. To work on homework and write this blog post I reluctantly came here. As I was exiting the library to make a call on my cell phone outside to not disturb other people working, she came walking down the stairs. This time there is no doubt it was her. She looked at my with a gloomy frown and my hearted started pounding. This wasn’t because I’m attracted to her; it’s because it pains me to see her. My chest and stomach tensed up and became uneasy. As I stood outside as the phone I had dialed rang, I saw her exit the door and walk away. After I made my phone call I went back inside and borrowed a laptop. As I was finding a place to sit I felt like smashing my hands on a table or throwing my water bottle in order to relieve my agitation. It upset me that the one day I made an exception to go to here I saw her. I was marginally concerned I would see her here, but I never actually foresaw it happening. As I said before, a part of still wants to see her, but the rest of me can hardly lay eyes on her. I absolutely could go without seeing her once more. If I do and there are not many people around I may curse and turn around. The reasons behind this are wholly complex and I am not comfortable yet to share the tale.

Incidentally, I came across her roommate a few days ago by interesting circumstances. If I had gone to the building where my meeting was at 10 instead of the Memorial Union Building (MUB, the community building) and she hadn’t over slept, we wouldn’t have seen each other. Both of us were heading toward the Diamond Library from different directions. I wasn’t sure how she felt toward me, so when I saw an opportunity to evade her by dashing through the mass of children standing in the area a few feet in front of the library I took it. As I was weaving my way through the crowd I heard her call out my name, but continued forward as if I hadn’t heard her. She said it much louder again so I instinctively turned around. The conversation couldn’t have lasted more than 20 seconds. As we were walking she told me that she had overslept, only to be woken up by a text message to make it in time for her quiz. The last time we had chatted she had mentioned that she had applied for a very difficult program and wasn’t completely confident she was going to be accepted (even though she has a 4.00 GPA). I asked her about it and to no surprise, she was in. I congratulated her and as she left to take her quiz, wished her good luck. I’m not sure why she still talks to me after everything that happened between me and her roommate. I would wholeheartedly understand if she didn’t.

I met with my tutor for Abnormal Behavior today. I feel confident that I performed better on the Abnormal Behavior test Tuesday then I had on the previous ones, but there were still questions I was not prepared for. She suggested meeting with the professor again, in spite of having a poor experience my last appointment. Her reasoning was I could ask him if I could look at my last two exams to recognize what I got wrong and to explain that I have been putting in a lot of effort but still having difficultly apprehending what to study. It was obvious I was exceedingly uncomfortable with this, so she offered to come with me and stand outside to overhear our conversation and intervene if necessary. She made it off to be no big deal as she had done it in the past, but I would feel embarrassed to go to that extreme. Besides that, she instructed me to make a schedule of what time, how much and what class I’ll be studying for each day. I’ve attempted it in the past but have never followed through. I understand the advantages; the obstacle is sticking with it.

In other news, I’m sad to report my insurance company will not be paying the additional expenses my Mom’s dental insurance doesn’t cover for the removal of my wisdom teeth. My mom learned this news when she called them to check. They enlightened us that they don’t insure for wisdom teeth that have either fully come in or are impacted; I'm not sure which one. For some people $645 isn’t a lot of money but with our current financial situation it certainly is. This is causing me more internal pressure to get a job, even though I’m in no medical state to have one.

Regardless, I will be taking three classes this summer. My mom is worried it might be too much for me to handle, but I must nonetheless. Besides, I’ll waste my summer if I don’t remain busy. The only issue is the money I procured from my aunt will not be enough to pay for them. I could ask my mom to cough up for the remaining charges, but I’ll take care of it myself; she has enough monetary concerns of her own. I was going to pay $75 to use the gym this summer, but seeing I still haven’t paid for my summer parking pass, I’ll just run around campus for exercise. My savings are dwindling away…

On a brighter note, I went for a nice bike ride yesterday. We’re continuing to enjoy delightful weather, although the wind is a tad cold. I was unable to use the gym for the reason that I had left my wallet at home, which held my student ID, a requirement to use the facilities. It was a pleasant outing; I went around town, taking mostly back roads. I've lived here all my life but I still take joy in the scenery around me. When I returned home I discovered it would have been less difficult had I noticed beforehand that my tires needed air. Unfortunately I have been unable to locate the bike pump. I’m hoping to pinpoint it before my next venture.

This blog post comes to a close as I need to start and complete my take home exam for Research Methods. I am in low spirits for how I did on the in class exam. I should have spent more time studying!